Category Archives: Biggest Loser

An Unusual Feeling

That’s what I’m having currently, an unusual feeling. It’s somewhere in my chest, I know I’ve felt it before but never like this. Don’t be scared, I know what it is and why it’s there; it’s pride.


Yes, I’ve been proud of myself before; Graduation, Marriage, Births of my daughters, their accomplishments, but never about something I chose to do and stuck with. I’ve been attempting to make myself better and I had a lull through the fall but I’ve been back at it and am seeing some results.

I decided, before Christmas, to get back on the diet but to be a bit more lenient with it so I could stick to it better. So far, I’m doing good. I can’t keep a vegan diet; I just can’t, yet. I love cheese, and milk, and eggs, and yogurt. I have cut out meat for the most part and very carefully call myself a vegetarian. I don’t have anything against meat but I think I will save it for those “rare and appropriate” times. I have also tried to keep out processed foods as much as possible, and attempted to cut out as much salt and sugar as possible.


I’m down 32 lbs as of today. I actually saw some change in my face in the mirror a couple days ago. Someone at work knows I am trying to change and has been super supportive. She tries to make note of me changing every day she sees me. I don’t know if it’s her being nice or her actually seeing a change but it is helpful. You know who you are, just so you know, you are the only person who has said anything to me so far. No one has been outright discouraging or mean about it but it feels the same when they simply don’t address it at all or are dismissive of my choice of food.

If you don’t know, it’s hard being the fattest person around. Being aware of the furniture and deciding whether or not it will hold you up. I simply look at a toilet and if its one of those floating ones I just have to hold it in. It’s hard feeling like everyone is watching you and judging every movement. Even if you aren’t wanting to be discouraging, maybe you just want to be silent about the whole thing, being silent feels just as bad sometimes. Don’t go crazy but just for my (and anyone else in my position’s mentality) fake it, act like you are supportive.


To help me on my journey I splurged a bit and bought myself a scale and a watch from Withings. I got the Activite’ Pop in Bright Azure and the Wireless Scale. I wish I had gotten the Smart Body Analyzer now but it’s done. (I got a very, VERY, good deal on these products because of a short time special offer so I can assure you that the price on the website was not what I paid.) If you want to get me a gift I would really like the Aura Connected Alarm Clock. I actually think I will get the Nest thermostat when we get our new home because it can connect to the system too.

I wish I knew more people who were losing weight and had this equipment because it is possible to share your activity with your support structure.

Speaking of support, my links are here. If you are attempting to change your lifestyle or have changed and are looking to encourage and support, befriend me. (I don’t know how to connect or show a link to my Withings stuff but it all funnels into MFP too.)


This isn’t my New Year’s resolution. They hardly ever stick. This is my life changing. Thanks for reading!

Two Weeks Down

Second week done. This is hard.


I did lose but not as much as I know I could have, I’ve really got to double down. I have been having success by tracking my calorie intake with MyFitnessPal and limiting intake to around 1000 cal. I have been doing well with the calorie count but the food I’m eating isn’t as good as I want it to be. My family knows that I am doing this but the family gatherings are still centered on food and I simply don’t know how to deal with that; its the way its always been.

The potato only thing simply didn’t work. My intake of fruits and vegetables has been incredibly increased while I have cut meat and cheese severely. I just haven’t been able to go full vegan and I just don’t know if I will ever be able to. That being said, I can tell that I have made progress. At lunch today I thought I would be okay to have some chicken tenders from the cafeteria at work ( I haven’t totally conqured my will power yet). Bad Idea! I may not have turned my life completely around but it has been two weeks since I had some deep fried crap and my body utterly rejected the tenders. Though emesis usually has a negative thoughts associated with it, not this time. I am kind of proud that my body has made a change in such a short time.

Food was my old standby friend when I needed something and I know what led me back to that point. I was dissappointed in myself over something that happened at work. I try to be a good example and hold myself to a high standard in my job but I made a stupid mistake and I have been very pensieve about the event ever since I was talked to about it. I don’t know if you are reading this but you know what I am talking about and I am sorry. I don’t know how it happened and I swear to you that it was not a puroseful act. I am making an attempt to be one of the best in our lab and I fall short sometimes. It hurt me more that you were put into the place you were because of my actions.

With my options opening as I open my mind to new foods that I’ve never eaten before or thought I didn’t like, I am finding foods that I acutally enjoy or at least don’t hate as much as I thought I did. For breakfast I am having about a cup of yogurt and an apple or a banana or some other fruit, or maybe a green smoothie. A great meal I discovered, at Panera Bread, Co., the Vegetarian Black Bean Soup with a piece of baguette is delicious and rings in at about 350 calories. Dinner is really my downfall. I’ve been cutting my portions to an actual portion size and making some better choices but I am having a hard time cutting out everything.

Overall I think I am headed in the right direction and try to embody the blue lanters and their light of the emotional spectrum, HOPE. If you are challenging yourself too, keep going and know…

~~~~~~~~~~THE NUMBERS~~~~~~~~~~

 I’m down another 5 pounds, a running total of 10.3 pounds in 14 days.


One Week Down


I was worried about cutting calories and food groups. I was worried about cravings and hunger pains. I was worried about support from family. I haven’t had much of any of these. Seven days down and I’ve got to tell you that I feel great. I have been amazed at how not hungry I have felt over this past week. I am oddly pleased with myself.

It’s is a strange sensation that I’ve gone a long time without feeling; pride. I am proud that I have done it and kept up with it. I have had some off diet eats but they have been very much fewer than pre-change. I feel no guilt about the meal I ate out with my wife and two daughters, nor the single bite of my daughters breakfast biscuit one morning. I haven’t been 100% potatoes. I’ll be straight up about that. They are hard to eat for EVERY MEAL, I think I made it three days though I continue to make them a large portion of my diet due to their low calorie and high satiety. Satiety was a word that I’m sure I knew before all of this but now I actually understand it.

Weeks ago, after I would eat I would either have eaten until I was sick and hated myself or I ate what I had and then still felt hungry. I simply haven’t done either of those two things in the last week and I am amazed and happy.

I am using the app MyFitnessPal to log my meals and keep track of calories. I haven’t used the sister app MapMyWalk yet but do plan to when I get into more exercise. I have the C25K app (Couch to 5K) to help with some cardio. I’ve used it before and like how it plays my music, or podcasts, and then it tells you when to walk/run/rest without stopping the audio.

Ray Cronise uses the saying “rare and appropriate” and a reddit user I spoke with said the change needs to be “manageable and sustainable”. Both of these statements are extremely useful when I am shaping the change to my lifestyle so that it isn’t just a short term change.

~~~~~~~~~~CONTENT WARNING~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted this blog to be an open and honest spot for me to share. I want to give information to anyone following behind my lead and advise about what I went through so they know what to expect. If you don’t want some gross information you may want to skip down the picture below.

So, the potato experiment may or may not have had a side effect that I had no clue about. Diarrhea. The thing is, it isn’t anything like the intestinal distress most of us associate with diarrhea. It wasn’t acid coming out of my butt hole. It wasn’t painful, it was just soft/liquid. I assume it was simply because of the water content of the potatoes, but may well be due to the extreme change in diet.

I had thought about needing to start a multivitamin with this diet, but some knowledge was given to me…

I can only imagine how deficient I was in everything on my old diet…

That really spoke to me and enlightened me. Why would I need a supplement when I am going to be eating much better for me, fresher, more natural foods than I was before? That has got to show the mindset I was in. I had normalized the shit I was eating so much so that I thought I would need to supplement  when eating better food. I’m ashamed of that but proud that I am beyond it.

~~~~~~~~~~THE NUMBERS~~~~~~~~~~


It is now 147 days until my birthday. I am down 5.3 pounds in just one week. I really am amazed at that number. I have lost that much weight in a short time before, it’s just something that happens when you weigh as much as I do, but I have a much better feeling about this loss. I am doing it a much better way that I ever have before and I’m pretty sure it’s not just water weight. Also, I am proud that I didn’t celebrate the achievement by turning to food! I decided instead to write this post and share my accomplishment with you fine people.

I’m not going to commit to a daily post or anything because I just don’t think I can keep up with that. My life isn’t that interesting. Find me on Twitter or Facebook if you want more info that isn’t just about the diet.

I’m sure you can tell but I’m not the best writer. These posts are for me to get stuff out of my head, sorry if it messes with yours to read it.

Becoming Less of a Man

~~~~~~~~MY INSPIRATION~~~~~~~~

It is time.

Sophia just turned 1, Sariah about to turn 7, Crystal and my’s 7th wedding anniversary coming up (wonder what kind of wool/copper gift I could get), and worst of all 150 days or so until my 30th birthday.

I need to lose weight and the time has come. Following the actions of Penn Jillette (PSS) and Matt Donnelly (ICS) and the tips/advice of Ray Cronise ( and Joel Fuhrman (Dr. Fuhrman) I am beginning a diet lifestyle change. I will need the support of everyone I know to get through this.

Read about Penn’s incredible loss in this article by People magazine.

This is simply my beginning post, with this post I declare myself to be a Cro-Nut (ICS/PSS fans will get the reference). I hope to blog throughout my journey but won’t set a schedule of posting because I likely won’t stick to one. I contemplated making a new, anonymous blog for this purpose as I will be posting pictures and very personal information in these posts, but thought through it and want to be open and honest in my journey. This is a big shock to us all; It is going to be a big change for us too. I have zero doubt that it is a change for the better and invite anyone reading this to join me (even you future people!).


In this preliminary entry I am going to lay out my plan. Ray (Cronise) hasn’t put out a book yet so we don’t know his entire plan of attack but I’ve pieced together a plan of my own based on podcast episodes of Penn’s Sunday School and Ice Cream Social, posts on Reddit by other scoops, and reading and Eat to Live by Dr. Fuhrman. It isn’t a complete set of instructions and will likely change along the way but this is where I am starting.

~~~~~~~~MY PLAN~~~~~~~~


-Walking, daily, my route is about 1.5 miles around the neighborhood behind our apartment

-Contrast showers, morning and night at least


-Water, water, and more water. I will be drinking tea (unsweet) but mostly I will be drinking water. I plan to use our Soda Stream to carbonate it whenever I feel the urge for that tingly feeling a coke gives us all and also by drinking my favorite drink, Perrier.

-The biggest change for me will be limiting myself to around 1000 calories daily.

-My plan begins with a potato-centric first two weeks. This is explained as a time of meditation and showing how much we actually think about food. In addition to that it can be seen as a period of cleansing your palate for the big change in food you will be eating.

-After the first two weeks the diet is basically vegan nutritarian; no animal by-products, no added salt/sugar/fat, no processed grains. Basically, lots and lots of fruits and veg, grains, legumes, and nuts.

This diet will no doubt change over time as I learn more about Matt and Penn’s ever secretive diet and about myself; what I like and what I don’t like.

Similar to the scientific worldview, changing your mind isn’t always a bad thing when you have new information to affect your thoughts.

~~~~~~~~MY SHAME~~~~~~~~

IMG_0623 IMG_0624

This is me, currently, as I write this post. 154 days until my 30th birthday. 400 pounds. That number makes me very sad. I hope, with every fiber in my being, that by my birthday I can be at a less emotion-enducing point.

I am not becoming a vegan person. I like eating meat and I could care less what you eat. I will not be preaching to anyone about this and will not be listening to anyone preach to me. I hope to get to a more healthy place and then ease into eating a more full diet with meat and dairy.

It’s very embarrassing being at this point and putting myself out there. This post isn’t goint to be publicized on Facebook like most of my others have been. You are one of the few who will see it. Share it if you must, but please understand the gravity of my placing myself out there with this very sensitive information. Thank you for your support.

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